You and your spouse have decided to separate—which means that you have a lot of decisions to make now. You will be splitting up your assets, potentially spending less time with your children and maybe even finding a new place to live.
Figuring all of this out may lead to arguments. Ending your marriage could be easier if you know how to keep things peaceful between you and your spouse.
Don’t rush the process
Your divorce might have been a long time coming—or perhaps your spouse sprang it on you out of nowhere. Whatever the case is, you don’t need to start figuring out the details immediately.
If you start talking about custody, alimony and who gets to keep the house right away, your raw emotions might get the better of you. Take some time to sort out how you feel beforehand so that you don’t jump right into a fight when you begin the actual divorce process.
Even if you wait, it is easy for a simple disagreement to blow up into a fight. You should know how to handle yourself if conflict does occur. To stop your fight from getting too heated, you should:
- Avoid blame and insults
- Try to keep a calm tone and body language
- Say that you want to discuss the issue later if it is too much right now
- Communicate over texts or email if being in person causes too much stress
- Acknowledge your part in a conflict—it is rarely entirely one person’s fault
There will most likely be things that you and your spouse struggle to agree on during your divorce. But keeping your disagreements as civil as possible may help you solve them.
Focus on what is important
It can be easy to become enemies with your spouse when you are fighting over your family and possessions. But you should keep in mind that you are separating with the goal of making everyone’s life better.
You don’t want your children to be around two fighting parents all the time. And you yourself don’t need to be in a marriage that makes you unhappy. Before you start shouting about your issues, remember that you are divorcing with the intention of making your life better.
Leave the fights that led to your marriage ending out of the divorce process. Focus instead on how you can make both of you as happy as possible in the end. Keeping your discussions civil may make your divorce easier for everyone involved.